Here's where that statement goes wrong. As someone who is feeling horrible 24/7 with a whole array of symptoms, most of which were probably mentioned during my last blog, the last thing you want someone to do is tell you it's all in your head like you are some crazy person. If it's one thing us anxiety disorder suffers want/need to hear is an answer to the why. If you could just tell us that this symptom is because of this, we'd feel so much better for at least 10 minutes. However, when it's mentioned that you may be causing it yourself, well that puts blame on the us and we automatically get defensive. I know, I've been there. We also tend to take things out of context and we assume the worst out of everything so when someone says "It's all in your head" we don't hear it as a solution to the problem we translate it into "you're crazy, I'm not going to help you, stop wasting my time with something stupid." and then we stop listening to what the person is saying because now we are mad and don't want to hear anything further.
Unfortunately, regardless if you are ready to admit to it or not, this statement is true. Anxiety is all in our heads. As I mentioned in one of my last blogs, our brains are far more capable of doing things than we give it credit. We set ourselves up by over thinking, over analyzing, dwelling, and ultimately freaking ourselves out. Our Flight or Fight system is broken. We rarely fight and are always ready to run away. We allow things to overwhelm us by giving in to the symptoms and signals and giving it free reign in our heads to take over for a certain amount of time. We've all put a "Vacancy" sign on our foreheads and the rent in our heads is pretty damn cheap.
Are the symptoms we are feeling all in our heads? Absolutely not. Don't misunderstand my previous paragraph or anyone else who tells you it's all in your head. You are not imagining your aches, pains, worries and fears. However, whether you believe it or not, YOU HAVE CONTROL. You've all read that quote "Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it." -Charles R. Swindoll That is a very true statement. You all have the ability to take those outside and inside triggers and tell it to get the eff out of your heads. It sounds like the most difficult thing in the world, trust me I know this. Seven years later I still have times, days, sometimes weeks where I let the world and my brain get the better of me. But, practice makes perfect and if you keep at it and stand your ground, stand up for yourself, you can and will get through it. If you haven't looked into it before, now would be a good time to look into some positive affirmation CDs. They truly do help. Louise Hay is good and there's a husband/wife team that I had CDs of that I can't remember. I recently parted ways with some of those CDs to help a friend. They may sound corny at first but if you go in with an open mind, and you do them as directed, they can help you a lot.
I hope this post hasn't upset or offended anyone as I hope none of my posts do. I have to be true to myself and as I promised myself I would open up and let the world into my hiding space and therefore show the true me. This post was intended to make you realize that you can do this and you are worth it. It makes me sad when I hear and see people in this spiral and I just want to give each and every one of you a hug. But, at times, I have to admit that I would love to shake you to make you realize what you are doing and how much you can help yourself. I know everyone has to do it on their own time as I did. And, I'm sure there were people in my life who wanted to shake me too. Now, let's all join hands and sing Kumbaya...or not.
I will leave you with some of my favorite positive affirmations:
Much Love and Light~
Tammy
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