We are the world...

and their problems are ours! 

Another symptoms, side effect, or whatever you'd like to call it, of an anxiety disorder is emotionally bonding ourselves to everything.  As if we didn't have enough emotional problems of our own, we feel the need to unnecessarily take on other people's problems too.  I'm not quite certain why we feel the need to do this.  Maybe it's because we secretly want to belong so we invite ourselves into everything hoping to fix it and be liked or maybe our brains are tired of our own problems that they try someone else's on for size for a while.  For whatever reason it is, it seems to be automatic and it ensures our brains and our bodies complete exhaustion.

Here are some examples of what I mean:

I'm driving to work and I see someone go right on red when there's a sign clearly stating "no right on red."  Ordinary people would call them an asshat and move on.  Not us!  We make that problem our own by fuming about it.  Re-living the incident in our heads over and over and dreaming of them being caught by the cops or a hundred other scenarios we could possible come up with for the next 20 minutes.  Why should they break the law and get away with it?  *fume, bitch, moan*  The only thing we are accomplishing by this is using unnecessary time and energy on something that has absolutely nothing to do with us.  It starts our adrenaline going, starts other hormones going, gets us riled up for no reason at all and will probably put us in a bad mood for at least an hour.

Friday, at work, I got a phone call from a client stating that he got another letter from the IRS.  I guess he's been getting letters (which my boss is aware of  and working on) about his 2009 tax returns.  He asks to drop it off, I tell him that's fine.  Seconds go by and a friend of his calls (who is also a client) and she tells me more about what is going on and how they are looking to seize his property.  Right now I am already starting to worry about this issue as if it is my own, when it has absolutely nothing to do with me.  My job is the answer the phone, write down the message, make sure my boss gets the letter and said message, and make sure he calls the client back.  THAT'S IT!  But, no, my brain is now all flustered worrying about this poor guy and his situation like it was happening to me.  So now my body has started with the adrenaline and the like as stated above, except instead of being mad, I'm now worried.

We have enough problems in our own lives, we do not need to take on the world's problems.  We know what worry, anger, anxiety, depression, etc. does to us in general, adding to it is just asking for trouble.  WE CANNOT CONTROL AND SOLVE EVERYTHING!  Even though we like to delude ourselves into thinking we can.  Let the appropriate people take care of the problems outside of your space, and you take care of your own problems.  Next time something happens and you start to get those "need to control the situation" feelings, stop yourself and tell yourself "it's their problem not mine!"  I'm not saying you should lack compassion and empathy, just stop taking on these problems as if they were your own.  Help only when it's asked, needed, or warranted.  If neither happens, step away.  If it's something stupid like example #1, step away.  You'll never heal if you continue to beat up your mind and body with needless worry and stress.  Work on solving your own problems before you take on the world.

Much Love and Light~

Tammy